Life indeed is full of surprises,
It knocks on your door Monday when you need it on Sunday;
Sometimes it arrives on November when you want it in October,
But if you open your eyes, you’ll realize that its timing is always perfect.
It took ages for me before I figured out the truth of it,
I had to make a lot of curses and collect a lot of hatreds;
I had to make others cry and punish myself of doing so,
I had to wait and see my faith come and go.
I had to read a lot of books and listen to numerous preaching,
Had to relate my experiences to others’ and analyze things;
I had to do a lot of mumbling, blaming, insulting and screaming,
I still had to experience many odds before I’ve proven myself wrong.
Time, it’s okay, you didn’t have me waiting,
It was just me who did the wrongful nagging;
It was just that my situation was frustrating,
I should have known what was coming.
I thank you for not coming in earlier,
And my gratitude for not coming in too late,
Or else situations wouldn’t be as manageable as they are;
And for sure, things would not be as perfect as they are.
He left me before I could find another
How unfortunate. The only man in my life left me before I could find another.
Yes, he was the only man in my life since birth. He was the first man who taught me the differences between right and wrong... the first man who taught me how to sing... how to dance cha-cha... how to sketch... how to beat the drums... taught me how to strum the guitar strings... taught me how to be tough... told me about the dark side of men... protected me from evil men... and carried me on his shoulders... His was the first male voice I could ever remember... his was the first growl... his was the first encouraging smile... his was the first and sharpest warning look... and his was the most commanding voice...
There had been random men I met from everywhere, but he was the only one who had always been there all along. I’ve dumped some men in my life but he was someone I could not even ignore. I’ve cried many tears because of men before but certainly not because of him... Yes, his love was not obvious because it was well-hidden... but somehow, somewhere, his love competed with its long-time rival, fear, and now, it has finally reigned over it...
The only man in my life asked me once, “When are you going to marry?” He wanted me to get another man who could compete with him. I don’t even have a brother to do that. He was the only man in my life but he wanted me to get a no.2, never knowing that he wasn’t only my no.1 — he was the only one.
Now he left me, unable to wait for his replacement; probably knowing that there would be no one to replace him in my heart. He left me hanging on to the hope that we can mend our heartaches and start anew. His last days were full of hopes – so full of hopes that it hurts just thinking about it.
“If I could get one final glance, one final walk, one final dance with him… I’d play a song that would never ever end… how I love to dance with my father again…”
Luther Vandross’ song goes on as my tears keep falling and as my fingers keep typing. I remember his promises. He promised to wait till I come home that weekend. We planned what to do when I come back. We were going to the beach… to laugh hard, sing old songs, dance cha-cha, build sand castles, draw some faces, and leave footprints in the sand… never knowing that it was just his wishful thinking. His was a willing spirit trapped in a weak body…
I miss him... I miss the only man in my life... and I’m sad ‘coz he left without even bidding a proper goodbye. Maybe he didn’t want to say so ‘coz he was hoping we could still do our plans together someday; not in this world but probably somewhere else. Lastly, I’m sad because he left me before I could find another one. Yet, deep down, I know I could never find another one.
A month ago and I still miss him like I’ve never missed him before. True enough, you can never know the importance of someone until that someone leaves you. Worse, there’s no way I can bring him back no matter how hard I try.
To the only man in my life, I love you and I miss you... I wish I had told you sooner… Thank you for bringing me into this world and thank you for the memories. Our happy days will always be treasured. Your sermons will always be heeded. You will always be remembered. Always.
I love you, Tatay. Until we meet each other again.
Yes, he was the only man in my life since birth. He was the first man who taught me the differences between right and wrong... the first man who taught me how to sing... how to dance cha-cha... how to sketch... how to beat the drums... taught me how to strum the guitar strings... taught me how to be tough... told me about the dark side of men... protected me from evil men... and carried me on his shoulders... His was the first male voice I could ever remember... his was the first growl... his was the first encouraging smile... his was the first and sharpest warning look... and his was the most commanding voice...
There had been random men I met from everywhere, but he was the only one who had always been there all along. I’ve dumped some men in my life but he was someone I could not even ignore. I’ve cried many tears because of men before but certainly not because of him... Yes, his love was not obvious because it was well-hidden... but somehow, somewhere, his love competed with its long-time rival, fear, and now, it has finally reigned over it...
The only man in my life asked me once, “When are you going to marry?” He wanted me to get another man who could compete with him. I don’t even have a brother to do that. He was the only man in my life but he wanted me to get a no.2, never knowing that he wasn’t only my no.1 — he was the only one.
Now he left me, unable to wait for his replacement; probably knowing that there would be no one to replace him in my heart. He left me hanging on to the hope that we can mend our heartaches and start anew. His last days were full of hopes – so full of hopes that it hurts just thinking about it.
“If I could get one final glance, one final walk, one final dance with him… I’d play a song that would never ever end… how I love to dance with my father again…”
Luther Vandross’ song goes on as my tears keep falling and as my fingers keep typing. I remember his promises. He promised to wait till I come home that weekend. We planned what to do when I come back. We were going to the beach… to laugh hard, sing old songs, dance cha-cha, build sand castles, draw some faces, and leave footprints in the sand… never knowing that it was just his wishful thinking. His was a willing spirit trapped in a weak body…
I miss him... I miss the only man in my life... and I’m sad ‘coz he left without even bidding a proper goodbye. Maybe he didn’t want to say so ‘coz he was hoping we could still do our plans together someday; not in this world but probably somewhere else. Lastly, I’m sad because he left me before I could find another one. Yet, deep down, I know I could never find another one.
A month ago and I still miss him like I’ve never missed him before. True enough, you can never know the importance of someone until that someone leaves you. Worse, there’s no way I can bring him back no matter how hard I try.
To the only man in my life, I love you and I miss you... I wish I had told you sooner… Thank you for bringing me into this world and thank you for the memories. Our happy days will always be treasured. Your sermons will always be heeded. You will always be remembered. Always.
I love you, Tatay. Until we meet each other again.
I am who I am
Don’t transform me into someone else. Don’t even try.
I cut my hair the way I think is classy and apply make up I think is perfect.
I dress what is comfortable and what I think is decent.
I put on fragrance I love to smell and not succumb to allergenic scents.
I cut my nails with my own design and wear accessories I think is elegant.
So don’t be surprised if I choose my own clothes, my shampoos, my cosmetics and accessories without even consulting you. This is how I adorn my outer shell and this is how I always will.
I eat the food I like best, irregardless of your alternatives.
I go to places I feel like and will stay there as long as I desire.
I choose the people I would talk to and treasure those I pick.
I look up to people whom I think deserving and will stoop down to those too low.
I gesture the moves which come out of me and will articulate words I am most at ease.
I do things the best way I suppose I should, even if it means setting both of us aside.
I let you know all these things so you don’t have to be surprised.
I read the book I have interest in; I watch the movies I like
I dance the music I enjoy; I sing the song I love
I toil for the job I want and will continue until the passion wears out.
I submit myself to promises I believe and will give away only those I can fulfill.
I do the things I think is right, whether they please you or not.
So this is who I am and what you see is what you get.
And once again, I articulate the words I am most at ease, under which is this case.
So don’t tell me what to do and don’t try to change me.
Just let me be myself coz that’s what it takes to see the real me.
Should you see a transition of a different me, it is then that you have to leap in.
Now one last thing before I end this trivia,
I can only give away promises which I know I can fulfill.
And the promises I gave you are never an exemption.
So take them and believe in them because I do keep them.
Don’t go wasting them, no… Don’t even try.
I cut my hair the way I think is classy and apply make up I think is perfect.
I dress what is comfortable and what I think is decent.
I put on fragrance I love to smell and not succumb to allergenic scents.
I cut my nails with my own design and wear accessories I think is elegant.
So don’t be surprised if I choose my own clothes, my shampoos, my cosmetics and accessories without even consulting you. This is how I adorn my outer shell and this is how I always will.
I eat the food I like best, irregardless of your alternatives.
I go to places I feel like and will stay there as long as I desire.
I choose the people I would talk to and treasure those I pick.
I look up to people whom I think deserving and will stoop down to those too low.
I gesture the moves which come out of me and will articulate words I am most at ease.
I do things the best way I suppose I should, even if it means setting both of us aside.
I let you know all these things so you don’t have to be surprised.
I read the book I have interest in; I watch the movies I like
I dance the music I enjoy; I sing the song I love
I toil for the job I want and will continue until the passion wears out.
I submit myself to promises I believe and will give away only those I can fulfill.
I do the things I think is right, whether they please you or not.
So this is who I am and what you see is what you get.
And once again, I articulate the words I am most at ease, under which is this case.
So don’t tell me what to do and don’t try to change me.
Just let me be myself coz that’s what it takes to see the real me.
Should you see a transition of a different me, it is then that you have to leap in.
Now one last thing before I end this trivia,
I can only give away promises which I know I can fulfill.
And the promises I gave you are never an exemption.
So take them and believe in them because I do keep them.
Don’t go wasting them, no… Don’t even try.
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