Til It's Time

Let me dream of you and me

looking, staring and smiling at each other...

frowning, crying, and laughing with each other...



Hold my hand as I walk you through

lead you the way, to the heavens we go

together we will discover

what the world has to offer...



Hug me and let me lean on your shoulder

kiss me and listen to the words that I whisper

words from my soul, spoken by my heart

words of promises that we'll never be apart...



Let me dream of you and me together

let me wait, let me stay, let me go never

make me hope that you and I are forever

then welcome me in your arms when forever is over...



Give me strength to stand against the tests of time

coz in the end it's you and me combined

From the shadow, I will blow you fortitude as you climb

From a distance, I am hoping you'll take this faith of mine...



But right now, we just have to go on wishing till it's time...

Tell Me

How do I know it's you, how do I know it's not?

How can we tell if we don't see each other that much?

How can I feel the love you profess,

When I couldn't even have your kiss...

My heart is aching to reach out for you,

But my mind is telling me to let you go...

Oh, boy, tell me.. What should I do?

Love Undefined

Love is unfair, love is selfless

It is never self-centered, never selfish

It asks too much and tests temperance

Eats up humility but seeks no vengeance.



It makes you wonder of its real existence

It drives you to a world full of happy endings

It teaches you how to fly till the brim of illusion

It could also lead you to the midst of confusion.



Real love comes and stays long for good

For better or for worse, against all odds

Its gentle touch sticks thru thick and thin

Despite spiteful words and ceaseless blame.



Love is shown and should never be kept

For if it spoils, it’s mistaken as fatal creep

It resorts to resentment and in just one flip

Your pride defeats it, then, someone has to weep.



I once fell in love but was not reciprocated

I wept for a while but am always motivated

The love I have inspired me, now and for always

It reigns over my pride and my slight little hatreds.



Though the person I love might be gone for good

I keep thanking Him for we met along the road

With sad goodbye, dreams shattered, and promises broken

Grows a stronger love willing to be taken... again…

Visions of an Ambitious Soul

Wait all day, wait all night
Wait and see and hold on tight
Wait till the sun goes down one night
Wait till the fights rundown tonight.


The turmoil makes it hard for all
The penny maladies everyday befall
The rivers of thoughts are tower tall
The figment ambition is the tallest of them all.


Many seconds have to pass by,
Many sorrows to cater and cry
Many negative notions to lie
Many attempts and failures to deny.


But with us is a hope as genuine as bullion
More costly than that of a good-cut diamond
A magnificent parcel that reminds us when alone
That a paradise awaits us, chambers empty of each throne.


I’m soaring to the left; you’re soaring to the right
Both hoping to find the brighter light
I hold on to dreams, you give up the fight
Two blissful spirits, what a beautiful sight.

I'm Sorry..... Self...

Let me share with you one of the many mumbles of this silly heart of mine. I tried shutting it out but it seems it’s to no avail coz someone somehow knocks on it harshly – making it beat faster and faster, nagging me to open up… so sentimental as I am, I’d rush to open it up, making my almost stupid self stumble and fall.. Then the same old story happens…over and over again.

I’m not going to name names here. I call him a “gazer” so you’ll call him that way. I admit I don’t really know Gazer, not till last semester anyway. I met him at JJ Blockbuster once when we both intended to pull out the same VCD at a time (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days). His smile lingered in my mind for a while. It wasn’t a smile intended to make a woman’s heart melt – it was a candid smile brought about by the coincidence we’d just encountered. He looked deep into my eyes and creased his eyebrows, then, as if in recognition, he gave away a one-sided smile, flashing his pearly white teeth. The cleft chin was pretty charming, too, so were the two dimples.

I think I smiled back then but I didn’t really pay attention. I thought he was just one of those easy-go-lucky guys you meet in the video house, hunting for both hit and hot movies. I go gaga over hit movies but one thing’s for sure – I’m not an easy go lucky type. I have reasons why I watch these movies. I need them more than I want them.

Anyway, going back to Gazer… So, I eventually forgot about him. I mean really forgot. But one fine afternoon, we were in the same fast-food and he was seated right across my table. I pretended not seeing him, or at least not recognizing him, and continued my lunch. And I saw that he was eating well, too, unmindful of the people around him. Actually, I didn’t think he recognized me that time. I finished before him so I departed from that place ahead of him. As I passed by his table, he looked up and… I didn’t know if he smiled or how his face looked like behind me. I just passed by him, that’s all.

While I was waiting for a ride home, a friend was rushing his way toward me. Catching his breath, he asked if I knew that guy standing across the street. It was Gazer. I told him I did recognize him by face. “Why?” I asked.

“Well, he’s just wondering why you don’t recognize him. He’s your neighbor…. in your hometown!”

My mouth was probably gaping for quite sometime when my friend flaunted an impish grin, as if reminding me how I stupid I looked. I was so blanked. Good thing a tricycle turned up, and I absentmindedly hailed it to stop. I think it took me days to recover from that shock. But when I looked back to it now, it was more of an embarrassment than a shock. How could I forget that boy next door whose family’s one of the well-offs in our society? How could I not recognize one of the famous heartthrobs in our town? Oh, how could I? Well, probably because I am not so into what and who’s famous. Nevertheless, I felt like I ought to know him. And when I had realized he was my neighbor, reality just came flashing through me.

I betted Gazer was disappointed and he’d probably tell his famous friends how dare an ordinary girl forget about who he is. “Sorry, Gazer,” I told myself. It was an honest mistake. No, it wasn’t a mistake. It was a normal response you got from a normal girl.

Months later, I saw Gazer again in an Internet café. He was playing DOTA and fate must have played tricks on us (or more on me), ‘coz my Internet connection at home wasn’t working and to make it worse (or better?), I was given the seat next to him. I asked for another PC workstation but there was no other vacant. “Nice,” I uttered to myself. When I started browsing, I was aware of those two eyes straightly looking at my monitor. So I shifted a little to the right, trying to block his view. When I glanced at him, he seemed lost in his own world. Was it just me?

After an hour, I’ve finally done my thing and logged out. His gaze didn’t follow. “So, he hasn’t recognized me this time?”

Consequently after that, I didn’t mind him whenever we met. For certain, we met several times after that but it felt better to just ignore each other and pretend to be strangers. That’s what we were, after all. In fact, I think I bumped onto him once at school. I knew he enrolled in our school during the second semester because I saw him around more often. He must have transferred from his prestigious school just to be with his friends, whom I recognize a few. And whenever we met, we really never say anything nor smile or do any act of recognition. As if we weren’t neighbors; as if we didn’t know the other one existed. I saw him as just “one of the many,” as perhaps the same way he saw me that time.

So I was just surprised when he appeared from the dark tonight, flashing out that familiar smile and handing me a box of sweets, uttering a delayed birthday greeting. I was surprised how he knew. But I am even more surprised what made him do such an unlikely thing? What could have hit him?

I remember smiling at him and thanking him. Then I continued walking past him and was really relieved when he didn’t follow. Otherwise, I’d run out of words. I really was tongue-tied. Was it a peace offering? Does he always do that to girls? Did I torture him somehow? Or is he a stalker? Oh well, whatever his motive is, for sure his act was impressive. It’s traditional and at the same time a bit provocative.

Until now I still couldn't figure out what really is his intention. But for sure, he’s going to be one of those sweet tortures piled up and set aside at the back of my mind. Not now...

I’m sorry, Gazer…. I’m sorry…self…

When the Spark Isn’t There Anymore

Seems like all the used-to-be’s are slowly fading away
Like how the marvelous magic had worn off slowly
When the green leaves in the park had turned brown
When both our happy faces turned into a frown…


Now that the ink of my pen is almost empty
Now that my notepad’s running low
Now that the sky has turned to grey,
Now that the daylight has started to go...


The once bright red carpet is now brunette in color,
The vibrant yellow walls are now of beige cover
The durable and well-polished furniture now shows aging
The plants in the garden had now stopped growing.


The enthusiasm is now as rare as diamonds
Everything we have is now close to vagabonds
Having you around is no longer a cure
Anything about us now seems so obscure.


If there is come, there is go
If the door is closed, use the window
When you see it coming, hug it like a pillow
When you feel it drifting, push it with a bellow.


What’s the use of holding on
When all the time we both feel alone,
When there’s no more warmth in your touch,
When the sparkle in your eyes isn’t that much?


“Goodbye” might be a hard word to say
But I’d rather say it than make you stay
I’d rather cherish our good times together
Than cling on the past then lose you forever.

When the spark isn’t there anymore,
There’s no more point in faking interests
There’s no more room for pointless arguments
With spark gone, nothing else matters anymore.

Perfect Time

Life indeed is full of surprises,
It knocks on your door Monday when you need it on Sunday;
Sometimes it arrives on November when you want it in October,
But if you open your eyes, you’ll realize that its timing is always perfect.

It took ages for me before I figured out the truth of it,
I had to make a lot of curses and collect a lot of hatreds;
I had to make others cry and punish myself of doing so,
I had to wait and see my faith come and go.

I had to read a lot of books and listen to numerous preaching,
Had to relate my experiences to others’ and analyze things;
I had to do a lot of mumbling, blaming, insulting and screaming,
I still had to experience many odds before I’ve proven myself wrong.

Time, it’s okay, you didn’t have me waiting,
It was just me who did the wrongful nagging;
It was just that my situation was frustrating,
I should have known what was coming.

I thank you for not coming in earlier,
And my gratitude for not coming in too late,
Or else situations wouldn’t be as manageable as they are;
And for sure, things would not be as perfect as they are.